While others are eagerly looking forward to Mothers Day, and happily shopping for the perfect gift that will please their beloved mother, do you find yourself sighing - maybe wishing you could skip over that weekend? You may have had an imperfect, or simply 'not-there' Mom. What's to celebrate? The woman who gave you birth is simply not the classic heroine that is praised and honoured on Mothers Day.
What can you do about this? Besides hurt inside?
First of all, I'd like to wrap my arms around you and say, "I'm sorry. I feel your pain with you."
My mother was gored by a cow before I was old enough to go to school. She survived by sheer will power, but suffered health problems and depression most of her life after that.
As the eldest child I had many adult responsbilities thrust upon me, and I tried my level best to measure up. But I couldn't help being jealous of other girls who had a lively and active mother to do things with them. One who didn't look so old and helpless long before she reached old age.
Eventually I did go off to make a life of my own in another place. It was at least two days and nights' drive away. So I had my independence for a while. But then I felt a strong nudging from God to go back and care foro Mom and Dad in their old age. I resisted that nudging for two years. Finally, I threw myself upon Him for grace to do this - for Him. I thought it might be just a couple of years and I could be on my own again, but that caregiving period lasted 23 and a half years!
I learned many things during that time. Especially about forgiving and loving both mom and dad.
Part of this included the making of Mothers Day cards and gifts on my limited budget and using them to say what I found hard to say orally.
Once we are willing to forgive, the process of learning to express that, and gradually more open and expressive of our love - it all takes time. Lots of time. So don't get discouraged if it doesn't happen in a matter of minutes or hours. (Though I hope that does happen for some).
Remember, the forgiving doesn't cancel out the wrongs that were done to you; what it does cancel is that they owe you compensation.
In fact, if you consider that Jesus Christ cancelled that debt your mother owes you, by dying a cruel death for it, that may speed up your acceptance and healing.
If she has died, or you don't know where she is, it is still wise to go through these steps to complete the healing of your own wounded spirit.
Are you ready to reach out to your mother on Mothers Day?
Determine what your mother really means to you now, and what kind of overture of love you want to extend to her. Jot down your thoughts as they will be a great guide for you in deciding what to do for Mother's Day gifts and cards.
What do you know about her interests and passions? Does she have hobbies? There may be clues in who she spends time with, what she does when focused on herself.
Too many times our gifts reflect what we like and admire, rather than what the recipient is tickled to pieces over. This is why I say, take time well in advance to think these things through. Once you have an objective profile or perception of your Mom's personality and her likes and dislikes, it will be much easier to zero in on the best gift ideas. Some of these ideas will take some time to prepare. The more personal effort and thought you put into your Mother's Day gift and card, the more she will appreciate them, and know that you are now loving her back as an understanding adult. That will mean a lot to her!
Should she be a fairly easy-to-please woman, she might be quite content to receive tokens that she recognizes from the media as being the norm. That might look like this, you bring her a nice attractive Mothers Day card, and a gift, or a bouquet of flowers. Depending on whether you can afford it, you may even take her out to eat at a nice restaurant so she can have a break from cooking for the family.
However, with planning, and extra time, you can come up with some really creative and original ways to honour and bless your mother. Shall we do a bit of brain-storming together?
What is her age category? A new mother of a baby or small children will have different values and desires than a mature and mellow Grand Dame of a mother. A middle-aged Mom of teenagers, who is juggling a career at the same time, is another type altogether.
The new mommy may be delirious over the romance of motherhood; she'd be pleased with chocolates, flowers, and a pretty card. Even gooey wet kisses. Or, if she's exhausted, she might much prefer some personal spa time, and coupons for free babysitting as her ideal Mothers Day gift.
The career woman/Mom may be wiped-out exhausted too. (You might tell by whether she crashes for naps on the weekend). Then you'd be smarter to organize a weekend away for her! Or she might enjoy some quality family time doing fun activities together. (Pay close attention to discern which she would prefer). Chances are good that she would be very open to receiving flowers and chocolates too. Don't rule out the treats.
Now if your mother is the mature, Grand Dame type, perhaps even a senior in a nursing home, she is still your mother - whether her mind drifts at times, or not. She might be most thrilled with framed photos of you and your family. Or, if you are able to scan some old favourites of hers from way back, and present them attractively in a way she can see and enjoy on a daily basis, that will be a big hit with her. Most of all, spend some quality time with your mother!
Naturally, there are variations between, and even mixes of these loose categories. That is why I stress that you need to consider what kind of mother you have, and what matters most to her. Fortunately, there are many that are grateful for the little hand-made crafts. I leave it to you to discern whether she needs a nice piece of jewelry to be convinced that you love and care for her.
Actually, that reminds me of a little rule you can apply to your choice of Mother's Day gifts. Find out what your mother would like and then try to surprise with something a little better or upscale from what she is expecting from you. For instance, if you have given her a home-made craft for years, but now you can afford to buy a better quality "pretty thing" - such as jewelry, or if she prefers flowers, maybe a plant that she would consider too expensive or rare to buy for herself. Or a book? (I'm always drawn to books, but so are many moms! :) )
Generally mothers know that their relationship with each child is unique, so the individual gift and attention and quality time is best. But there are times when siblings can put their heads together and give a larger gift from all of them to their mother. I'm imagining a trip back to a place she misses, or maybe she's ready for a computer, iPad, or other electronic item that she can't afford alone.
Do you see how planning ahead and giving yourself time to think theses ideas through will improve how you celebrate Mother's Day with your Mom?
If you are working from a shoestring budget as I have most of my life, you know that your card will probably have to be home-made, and you will have to write the poem or greeting in it as well. The internet gives us access to just oddles and oddles of poems and card making ideas. Hunt around online and you'll soon have some fun for yourself.
If you utterly give up, or haven't got the time (- how about paying a friend who loves to do this and has become quite crafty?) - you can always go buy a Mother's Day card. The card-making companies are ready for you! They know that more Mother's Day cards are purchased than any other kind. They want to make a good living too, you see.
Here are some sites I found that offer free Mother's Day poems that you can put into your card;
I was hoping you would take my suggestions above to heart, and take time to think through who your mother really is, what words and gifts would bless her the most, and then find the more perfect expression of your love from that. However, I realize you may be running out of time, and you are desperate for Mother's Day gift ideas by now. If you promise to allow more time to be thoroughly thoughtful next year, I can suggest a few online place to shop for a quick gift.
If you are so short of time that you can't allow for a gift to be shipped in time for Sunday, then I suggest you go ahead, order the gift, and then spend a few minutes on your computer, designing a pretty "Your Gift is Coming..." certificate or coupon. Fill it out with a bit of detail as to the gift you've ordered, and how soon you expect it to arrive. That way your Mom will at least have some joy in anticipating your gift.
Cards - Grad and Mothers Day Cards- Buy 2 Get 1 Free
Jewelry - Personalized Mother's Day Jewelry
Sephra (has chocolate fountains)
Mothers Day Gifts